I've heard a lot of people say, "This year runs by so fast!" It may be cliche, but I could not agree more. It is just easy to look back and say time runs fast.
yet sometimes it was so painfully slow while I'm in the middle of it.
Especially when things don't go the way I hope.
But hey, at the end, at least for right now, things are okay.
As boring as my life seems to be, a lot of things happen this year. I probably couldn't name them all. But changing jobs (sort of, in the same company), death of my grandmother, sweating over my H1-B visa, going to NYC for the second time, the birth of my goddaughter Lucia and many more. It may be the most eventful year of my life.
Or maybe I just don't remember much about the past.
The best thing is I have a lot of growth as a counselor and I hope this will continue for a long time. I would not be able to tolerate being stuck at a point without any learning or growth.
I had a lot of happy moments, a lot of anxious moments and my fair share of depressed moments.
Overall, I'm grateful... but I hope I'll be happier next year.
let's just say no worse than this year.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Museums in NYC- the first installment of my NYC travelogue
Introduction:
I was in New York City for 8 days from November 3 to November 10. Throughout my time there, I tried to journal as much as I can because I wanted to keep a travelogue for my entire trip. I find writing very soothing and reflective. Writing also kept me from forgetting the little details of my trip, like looking at what's on people's iPod in the subway and the name of the homeless guy who asked me for money (Jimmy). At the end, I did not have enough time or energy to write everyday and everything, but I did my best and I estimated there are more than 20 pages of personal entries, maybe more. It would take a long time for me to type up everything, which is something i am not going to do. So I decided to write a series of blogs to reflect and summarize my trip.
If you are interested in the pictures I've taken during the trip, give me your e-mail and I'll invite you to my flickr.
Museums in New York City:
New York has a lot of museums, and museums of all kinds. It is a candyland for museum lovers. Museum admission fees was my biggest (and only) expense (but I posed as a student to pay less). I'm a big museum bug since I was a kid. My passion traces back when I was little kid, I really wanted to see a mummy and I found out the British Museum has an extensive collection of Egyptian artifacts. I am also a big Michelangelo fan and visiting the Vatican City was my dream. The excitement of visiting the British Museum, the Louvre and St. Peter's Basilica was indescribable memories for me. Hence, visiting 10 museums in 8 days was a bliss for me.
Here are my ratings (from a scale of 1 to 5) for the museums I visited this time:
MoMA (Museum of Modern Art): 5 stars. MoMA is still my favorite NYC museums because it has an excellent collection of paintings by western artists across the board from 19th cenurty til today. Its rotating exhibition is always interesting, and the current "Eyes On Europe" (featuring european artists from 60s to now) does not disappoint. "Manet and The Execution of Maximilian" was a nice surprise. The photography section is not to be missed, either. The new building (at least) doubles its size. It is a shame I did not have enough time to finish everything (namely the first floor), but I did finish most of the stuff I've seen. I recommend everyone to spend at least 4 hours at MoMA. Friday nights are free. Audio tours are always free at MoMA.
The Metropolitan Museum of Fine Arts. 4 & 1/2 stars.
If I am not mistaken, the Met is the biggest museum in New York City (You can never be too sure in NYC). Simply say, the Met has everything. Arts from different culture, decorative arts, weapons and what not. It is only a matter of time before Ikea's collection has a room in there. The Met is so big it is not easy to navigate (for me). I asked the security guards a couple of times for direction inside the museum (the map is not helping). The lighting of the museum annoyed me because the light source comes from a weird angle (for a lot of paintings) which makes it impossible to look at some paintings at a near distance. Some paintings are placed up high on the wall (above another one), again made it impossible to look at it closely. However, my biggest personal problem with the Met is the anger inside me when I see the Chinese and Egyptian collection. Some of the arts maybe collected legitimately. But I am very sure a lot of them were STOLEN and ROBBED from the natives when the white men invaded their countries. As an ethnic Chinese, I was very disturbed by that feeling. I remembered having the same revelation when I visited the British Museum ten years ago. Why the 4&1/2-star rating then? The Museum has a great collection of 19- 20th century art. The Ambroise Vollard exhibit is top-notched and the museum's own Edgar Degas collection features the most Degas' artwork than you can ever find (from oil to pastel to sculptures).
The Whitney Museum. 4 stars. Their Edward Hopper (Nighthawks and other paintings) collection was my favorite part. I like Hopper's deciption of desolation and ambience. His paintings has a voyeuristic quality which makes the viewer feels like he/she is watching the characters in a distance. They are all very cinematic and enigmatic, there is always a story hidden behind the canvas. I consider him an influence on my own photographs (of course, I am no where close to his excellency). I also saw an interesting exhibition showing how Picasso influence his American peers (including Gorky, De Kooning, Pollock and many others). They even show their paintings side by side.
The Morgan Library and Museum. Founded by banker JP Morgan, it features the collection of the Morgan family and the senior Morgan's own study room. I only visited there after learning there is a "Bob Dylan's American Journey 1956-1966" exhibition. The Bob Dylan showcase is definitely 5 stars for a Dylan fan like me, where you can see anything from his guitar to his hand-written letters and lyrics. There are also stations for listening to his albums during that time period. If not for the Bob Dylan exhibition, the Morgan Library is probably a 2-star location because there was not much to see. Mozart Manuscripts? It won't take me more than 10 minutes and who reads German, huh?
The International Center for Photography. 4 stars. It is located in Midtown Manhattan, so it is an easy location and I highly recommend it to everyone. It features mostly journalistic photographs. The current topic is "Ecotopia", so basically all the photos have something to deal with the enviroment. Hurricane Katrina, Tsunami, Global Warming and Deforestation... you name it . The slideshows are awesome. I love the short films featured there but people should not expect to be amused by sitting down for just 30 seconds. Just pay attention and you'll find some gems. "Safari" by Catherine Chalmers is about a cockroach venturing a jungle of different insects, reptiles and amphibians. "Imported Crows" by Goran Devic talked about the relationship between small town Croatian and the huge amount of crows inhabited there, subtly linking the sentiment to the ethnic tensions there.
Jacques Marchias Museum of Tibetan. 3 1/2 stars. I only visited this small museum after stumbling onto Staten Island by chance (what Buddhist-esque coincident). Jacques Marchias was actually a woman. She took a French man's name in order to attract customers as an antique dealer. She was not a Buddhist but she built this temple-like museum before she died. According to the tour guide, Dalai Lama said she is an reincarnation of a Lama. The sand mandala, which took a Bhutanese monk 4 days and his fingers only to make, was eye-opening for me, something I've only seen in Scorsese's film Kundun. Monks believe in the impermenance of and nonattachment to material things, so they usually destroy the sand mandalas soon after they are done. It was rare for this one to be kept for exhibition purposes. The other Tibetan artifacts are very delicate. Most people won't visit Staten Island and this is pretty far from Manhattan. But by chance, you're on the island, this is the one place to go. The so-called nearby (took me at least 20 minutes of walking) Frank Lloyd Wright house was a waste of time. I was not impressed. Not at all.
The National Museum of American Indian. 3 1/2stars. I needed to use the restroom badly (you know how hostile NYC is to one's bladder) and the admission is free, so I stumbled into this fine and underrated museum. The pottery reminded me how important it is for the Native Americans to continue their art because it keeps their culture alive. The pottery figures are made in simple shapes and I can relate to their style. It's lovely, it's free and there's a restroom. Why not visit there if you're around the area (near the Staten Island Ferry in Manhattan).
P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center. 3 stars. I got a free admission from my MoMA ticket. If you're in Queens. This would be a nice place to go (not too far). Most post-modern and modern artwork (like its namesake). The "Music is a better noise" is an interesting exhibition, which features artwork by musicians like Thurston Moore, Kim Gordon, Alan Vega (Suicide) and many others. The building was a high school.
Queens Museum of Art. 2 & 1/2 stars. I went there because I wanted to see the Panorama of NYC, a 9,000 square foot model of the city. Very unfortunately, the model was closed for construction. It was a big letdown. The World Fair history was not very interesting. The "Queens International" exhibition featuring local artists was okay.
Museum of Sex. 1 & 1/2 star. It was my biggest disappointment. There are a lot of history and artifacts on pornography and BDSM, but a comparatively small and not very impressive take on other aspects of human sexuality. And the admission fee is relatively expensive ($13.50). On the survey I filled out, I wrote they should include a more feminist perspective in the museum.
I was in New York City for 8 days from November 3 to November 10. Throughout my time there, I tried to journal as much as I can because I wanted to keep a travelogue for my entire trip. I find writing very soothing and reflective. Writing also kept me from forgetting the little details of my trip, like looking at what's on people's iPod in the subway and the name of the homeless guy who asked me for money (Jimmy). At the end, I did not have enough time or energy to write everyday and everything, but I did my best and I estimated there are more than 20 pages of personal entries, maybe more. It would take a long time for me to type up everything, which is something i am not going to do. So I decided to write a series of blogs to reflect and summarize my trip.
If you are interested in the pictures I've taken during the trip, give me your e-mail and I'll invite you to my flickr.
Museums in New York City:
New York has a lot of museums, and museums of all kinds. It is a candyland for museum lovers. Museum admission fees was my biggest (and only) expense (but I posed as a student to pay less). I'm a big museum bug since I was a kid. My passion traces back when I was little kid, I really wanted to see a mummy and I found out the British Museum has an extensive collection of Egyptian artifacts. I am also a big Michelangelo fan and visiting the Vatican City was my dream. The excitement of visiting the British Museum, the Louvre and St. Peter's Basilica was indescribable memories for me. Hence, visiting 10 museums in 8 days was a bliss for me.
Here are my ratings (from a scale of 1 to 5) for the museums I visited this time:
MoMA (Museum of Modern Art): 5 stars. MoMA is still my favorite NYC museums because it has an excellent collection of paintings by western artists across the board from 19th cenurty til today. Its rotating exhibition is always interesting, and the current "Eyes On Europe" (featuring european artists from 60s to now) does not disappoint. "Manet and The Execution of Maximilian" was a nice surprise. The photography section is not to be missed, either. The new building (at least) doubles its size. It is a shame I did not have enough time to finish everything (namely the first floor), but I did finish most of the stuff I've seen. I recommend everyone to spend at least 4 hours at MoMA. Friday nights are free. Audio tours are always free at MoMA.
The Metropolitan Museum of Fine Arts. 4 & 1/2 stars.
If I am not mistaken, the Met is the biggest museum in New York City (You can never be too sure in NYC). Simply say, the Met has everything. Arts from different culture, decorative arts, weapons and what not. It is only a matter of time before Ikea's collection has a room in there. The Met is so big it is not easy to navigate (for me). I asked the security guards a couple of times for direction inside the museum (the map is not helping). The lighting of the museum annoyed me because the light source comes from a weird angle (for a lot of paintings) which makes it impossible to look at some paintings at a near distance. Some paintings are placed up high on the wall (above another one), again made it impossible to look at it closely. However, my biggest personal problem with the Met is the anger inside me when I see the Chinese and Egyptian collection. Some of the arts maybe collected legitimately. But I am very sure a lot of them were STOLEN and ROBBED from the natives when the white men invaded their countries. As an ethnic Chinese, I was very disturbed by that feeling. I remembered having the same revelation when I visited the British Museum ten years ago. Why the 4&1/2-star rating then? The Museum has a great collection of 19- 20th century art. The Ambroise Vollard exhibit is top-notched and the museum's own Edgar Degas collection features the most Degas' artwork than you can ever find (from oil to pastel to sculptures).
The Whitney Museum. 4 stars. Their Edward Hopper (Nighthawks and other paintings) collection was my favorite part. I like Hopper's deciption of desolation and ambience. His paintings has a voyeuristic quality which makes the viewer feels like he/she is watching the characters in a distance. They are all very cinematic and enigmatic, there is always a story hidden behind the canvas. I consider him an influence on my own photographs (of course, I am no where close to his excellency). I also saw an interesting exhibition showing how Picasso influence his American peers (including Gorky, De Kooning, Pollock and many others). They even show their paintings side by side.
The Morgan Library and Museum. Founded by banker JP Morgan, it features the collection of the Morgan family and the senior Morgan's own study room. I only visited there after learning there is a "Bob Dylan's American Journey 1956-1966" exhibition. The Bob Dylan showcase is definitely 5 stars for a Dylan fan like me, where you can see anything from his guitar to his hand-written letters and lyrics. There are also stations for listening to his albums during that time period. If not for the Bob Dylan exhibition, the Morgan Library is probably a 2-star location because there was not much to see. Mozart Manuscripts? It won't take me more than 10 minutes and who reads German, huh?
The International Center for Photography. 4 stars. It is located in Midtown Manhattan, so it is an easy location and I highly recommend it to everyone. It features mostly journalistic photographs. The current topic is "Ecotopia", so basically all the photos have something to deal with the enviroment. Hurricane Katrina, Tsunami, Global Warming and Deforestation... you name it . The slideshows are awesome. I love the short films featured there but people should not expect to be amused by sitting down for just 30 seconds. Just pay attention and you'll find some gems. "Safari" by Catherine Chalmers is about a cockroach venturing a jungle of different insects, reptiles and amphibians. "Imported Crows" by Goran Devic talked about the relationship between small town Croatian and the huge amount of crows inhabited there, subtly linking the sentiment to the ethnic tensions there.
Jacques Marchias Museum of Tibetan. 3 1/2 stars. I only visited this small museum after stumbling onto Staten Island by chance (what Buddhist-esque coincident). Jacques Marchias was actually a woman. She took a French man's name in order to attract customers as an antique dealer. She was not a Buddhist but she built this temple-like museum before she died. According to the tour guide, Dalai Lama said she is an reincarnation of a Lama. The sand mandala, which took a Bhutanese monk 4 days and his fingers only to make, was eye-opening for me, something I've only seen in Scorsese's film Kundun. Monks believe in the impermenance of and nonattachment to material things, so they usually destroy the sand mandalas soon after they are done. It was rare for this one to be kept for exhibition purposes. The other Tibetan artifacts are very delicate. Most people won't visit Staten Island and this is pretty far from Manhattan. But by chance, you're on the island, this is the one place to go. The so-called nearby (took me at least 20 minutes of walking) Frank Lloyd Wright house was a waste of time. I was not impressed. Not at all.
The National Museum of American Indian. 3 1/2stars. I needed to use the restroom badly (you know how hostile NYC is to one's bladder) and the admission is free, so I stumbled into this fine and underrated museum. The pottery reminded me how important it is for the Native Americans to continue their art because it keeps their culture alive. The pottery figures are made in simple shapes and I can relate to their style. It's lovely, it's free and there's a restroom. Why not visit there if you're around the area (near the Staten Island Ferry in Manhattan).
P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center. 3 stars. I got a free admission from my MoMA ticket. If you're in Queens. This would be a nice place to go (not too far). Most post-modern and modern artwork (like its namesake). The "Music is a better noise" is an interesting exhibition, which features artwork by musicians like Thurston Moore, Kim Gordon, Alan Vega (Suicide) and many others. The building was a high school.
Queens Museum of Art. 2 & 1/2 stars. I went there because I wanted to see the Panorama of NYC, a 9,000 square foot model of the city. Very unfortunately, the model was closed for construction. It was a big letdown. The World Fair history was not very interesting. The "Queens International" exhibition featuring local artists was okay.
Museum of Sex. 1 & 1/2 star. It was my biggest disappointment. There are a lot of history and artifacts on pornography and BDSM, but a comparatively small and not very impressive take on other aspects of human sexuality. And the admission fee is relatively expensive ($13.50). On the survey I filled out, I wrote they should include a more feminist perspective in the museum.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
In love with my nintendo ds
After helping my friends Joe and Kathryn moved on Sunday, Kathryn and I went to buy an Nintendo DS since we both had recently checked it out and was feeling the urge.
Man, it was so exciting. I felt like a little kid. For for my record, I never had a gameboy in my life (even though I had other home consoles). This is a freakin' dream come true.
I'm so in love with my DS. It is so adorable. So adorable only my goddaughter Lucia can compete with it.
I have Mario Kart (which is a big reason I want a DS) and Animal Crossing: Wild World.
Wi-fi kicks ass but I need friends for Animal Crossing. Anyone, I'll be your friend
Man, it was so exciting. I felt like a little kid. For for my record, I never had a gameboy in my life (even though I had other home consoles). This is a freakin' dream come true.
I'm so in love with my DS. It is so adorable. So adorable only my goddaughter Lucia can compete with it.
I have Mario Kart (which is a big reason I want a DS) and Animal Crossing: Wild World.
Wi-fi kicks ass but I need friends for Animal Crossing. Anyone, I'll be your friend
Friday, October 13, 2006
October means...
I want to use this blog to respond and pass along the message from my friend Allison's blog.
October means different things for different people. For some, it means post-season baseball. For some, it means National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For others, it means a change of season. But right now, I want to remind everybody that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
You may ask, "What does domestic violence have to do with me?" Let me tell you it has everything to do with you. One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. It is safe for me to say every person knows someone affected by domestic violence. Domestic violence is not only about some guy beating up his wife. Abuse happens in all shapes and forms-- emotionally, economically, sexually and spiritually, too. Besides, it can also happen to men (though in a smaller number).
What can you do to help? If you have money, you can generously donate it to support the funding of domestic violence. Contact your local non-profit organizations or charities. If you don't have money, it is okay too. Learn about it, educate yourself and talk about it with your family and friends. Your knowledge and awareness can be very influential. Breaking the silence is the first step in breaking the cycle of violence.
Links which you can learn more about the subject:
Texas Council on Family Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Houston Area Women's Center
You have two choices: Be a bystander or make a difference. It is up to you.
And if you really want to, I will be glad to talk with you about domestic violence.
October means different things for different people. For some, it means post-season baseball. For some, it means National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For others, it means a change of season. But right now, I want to remind everybody that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
You may ask, "What does domestic violence have to do with me?" Let me tell you it has everything to do with you. One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. It is safe for me to say every person knows someone affected by domestic violence. Domestic violence is not only about some guy beating up his wife. Abuse happens in all shapes and forms-- emotionally, economically, sexually and spiritually, too. Besides, it can also happen to men (though in a smaller number).
What can you do to help? If you have money, you can generously donate it to support the funding of domestic violence. Contact your local non-profit organizations or charities. If you don't have money, it is okay too. Learn about it, educate yourself and talk about it with your family and friends. Your knowledge and awareness can be very influential. Breaking the silence is the first step in breaking the cycle of violence.
Links which you can learn more about the subject:
Texas Council on Family Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Houston Area Women's Center
You have two choices: Be a bystander or make a difference. It is up to you.
And if you really want to, I will be glad to talk with you about domestic violence.
Monday, September 25, 2006
A Capitalist Manifesto
Just as I was struggling to calculate and worry my expenses in relation to my salary, my parents sent me an email of an ad from the local (Macau's) government on hiring a therapist. My parents, though very supportive, has always wanted me to go back home. According to the figures provided by my mother, the salary of that job is about double my current pay. And they even provide housing allowance (extra bling). On top of that, living in Macau is like 7 times cheaper than living in Houston. Gawd! Life without the need to worry about money, how convenient!
Think about how filthy rich I could be.
Think about all the booze I can gulp. Think about the 2007 Mini Cooper.
Forget about it.
I just decided that I would stay in America at least 3 more years. I just had my one year anniversary at my workplace (which was filled with obstacles unrelated to my work performance). I really like what I am doing now and I want to be better. I still have the zest and energy to learn. Going back to Macau, in my opinion, will hinder my growth. It will be hard for me to find people I can learn from because the field of psychology/counseling is very primitive.
Also, frankly and brutually, I think most people in Macau don't give a shit about what they do, nor do they have the knowledge or ability to do so. On second thought, isn't it like that anywhere? Well, yes. Yet it will be difficult to top a place where the general public is a carefree cow who is willing to milk itself for the richest, despite all the sickness and grotesque given in the process.
This blog was supposed to be about me choosing to stay instead of applying for the nice comfortable job back home. I don't know how it became a political critique. Go back to the subject, I'm enjoying my work now and I see some of my friends hating their newly-found better-paying jobs. I don't envy that. Honestly, I go to work because I want to go. No one makes me and no one can.
Just go rob a bank if you only need money, right? I guess people do it every day. (please don't rob wells fargo, i go there)
It is cliche. All the lavish material a better job can buy would not make me happy. Probably, going home would not change how I feel. When one problem is resolved, there is always another one. It is never-ending. None of that will save me from my misery.
For right now, it is better for me to...
Think about all the things I've learned.
Think about my 2006 Honda Civic. Think about my friends. Think about my delightful goddaughter Lucia.
Think about movie night next week?
Think about how filthy rich I could be.
Think about all the booze I can gulp. Think about the 2007 Mini Cooper.
Forget about it.
I just decided that I would stay in America at least 3 more years. I just had my one year anniversary at my workplace (which was filled with obstacles unrelated to my work performance). I really like what I am doing now and I want to be better. I still have the zest and energy to learn. Going back to Macau, in my opinion, will hinder my growth. It will be hard for me to find people I can learn from because the field of psychology/counseling is very primitive.
Also, frankly and brutually, I think most people in Macau don't give a shit about what they do, nor do they have the knowledge or ability to do so. On second thought, isn't it like that anywhere? Well, yes. Yet it will be difficult to top a place where the general public is a carefree cow who is willing to milk itself for the richest, despite all the sickness and grotesque given in the process.
This blog was supposed to be about me choosing to stay instead of applying for the nice comfortable job back home. I don't know how it became a political critique. Go back to the subject, I'm enjoying my work now and I see some of my friends hating their newly-found better-paying jobs. I don't envy that. Honestly, I go to work because I want to go. No one makes me and no one can.
Just go rob a bank if you only need money, right? I guess people do it every day. (please don't rob wells fargo, i go there)
It is cliche. All the lavish material a better job can buy would not make me happy. Probably, going home would not change how I feel. When one problem is resolved, there is always another one. It is never-ending. None of that will save me from my misery.
For right now, it is better for me to...
Think about all the things I've learned.
Think about my 2006 Honda Civic. Think about my friends. Think about my delightful goddaughter Lucia.
Think about movie night next week?
Friday, July 21, 2006
A Means To An End
Today is my grandmother's funeral. I could not be there but I've been thinking about my family all day. I wish I could be there for them. As my mom requested, I wore black clothes today. I hope all is fine with her. And I know it will be.
I thank all my friends here who supported me as always. It was also very nice of my co-workers to send me their condolences. They even got me some very delicate orchids.
I thank all my friends here who supported me as always. It was also very nice of my co-workers to send me their condolences. They even got me some very delicate orchids.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Dead Meat
In the animation futurama, when Professor Farnsworth was saying goodbye to everyone because he thought he was going to die, Bender said, "Life goes on.... except for you! HAHAHA!"
While the joke is cruel (and funny), I hope the same can apply to Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay. Right-wing freaks thought it is some left-wing bullshit when people suggest Ken Lay did not die of natural causes, or maybe even faking his death. While there is no evidence to prove so, but the circumstances (the timing, the aftermath...) of his death is very suspicious.
Today, a banker related to Enron's case was found dead in the UK. Things only get fishier....
Because Ken Lay is dead, all these dumb fucks have been saying "good things" about him. For example, Bush called him a "generous man". What the fuck, Ken Lay's a douchebag, a white collar con man. He was generous? He was like the reversal of Robin Hood. He robbed the public and spread the money among the privileged. Stop the bullshit with me about Lay not getting a fair trail because of all the public opinion. What he actually DID has something to do with how much of an ass face people think he was. Now he's dead and every hypocrite (who pretended not to know him) and accomplice has something nice to say. Oh, please. When Ronald Reagan diead, people were talking about how great a president he was. I was like, "What??" Did they remember what he did? Or everyone just has Alzheimer's like him?
I am not going to say something good about some assholes just because they are dead. Their state of existence has nothing to do with their deed or character. On the other hand, my grandmother died recently. She was a great woman. She lived a respectable and honest life and she will be remembered for who she was. Her being alive or dead does not change the way I feel about her.
While the joke is cruel (and funny), I hope the same can apply to Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay. Right-wing freaks thought it is some left-wing bullshit when people suggest Ken Lay did not die of natural causes, or maybe even faking his death. While there is no evidence to prove so, but the circumstances (the timing, the aftermath...) of his death is very suspicious.
Today, a banker related to Enron's case was found dead in the UK. Things only get fishier....
Because Ken Lay is dead, all these dumb fucks have been saying "good things" about him. For example, Bush called him a "generous man". What the fuck, Ken Lay's a douchebag, a white collar con man. He was generous? He was like the reversal of Robin Hood. He robbed the public and spread the money among the privileged. Stop the bullshit with me about Lay not getting a fair trail because of all the public opinion. What he actually DID has something to do with how much of an ass face people think he was. Now he's dead and every hypocrite (who pretended not to know him) and accomplice has something nice to say. Oh, please. When Ronald Reagan diead, people were talking about how great a president he was. I was like, "What??" Did they remember what he did? Or everyone just has Alzheimer's like him?
I am not going to say something good about some assholes just because they are dead. Their state of existence has nothing to do with their deed or character. On the other hand, my grandmother died recently. She was a great woman. She lived a respectable and honest life and she will be remembered for who she was. Her being alive or dead does not change the way I feel about her.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
My Five-Day Dog Bless America Holiday Weekend
Fourth of July gave me a 5-day weekend because I took Friday off to watch Italy kicking Ukarine's ass. Thanks to this long weekend, I am able to watch all the games LIVE. So I went to Wal-Mart Sunday and returned the piece of crap VCR which cost me 40 bucks. It feels so good to rip off big companies(or just ripping off anybody?). That forty dollars could be used to buy Criterion Collection DVD of Yasujiro Ozu's "Floating Weeds". Ozu is one of the greatest and that Criterion cover looks really nice.
Speaking of Criterion Collection, I just bought Wong Kar-Wai's "In The Mood For Love" from deepdiscountdvd.com and I'm still waiting for it from the mail. I wanted to pick it for the weekly movie night I have with my friends. One of the stupid reasons I wanna pick it is because the film was partially shot in my hometown Macau. Another movie I wanna pick is Shohei Imamura's The Eel.
That's pretty much how my long weekend was spent. Movies and World Cup games. I watched "Hana-bi"(for the second time), "Shoot The Piano Player", "Loves of A Blonde", 'Lady Vengeance" (in theater), "Stolen Kisses" (second time), Dr. Strangelove... and I shall watch "The Fireman's Ball" before I go to bed.
I'm so happy Italy is going to the Final. All I can wish is Portugal will go through tomorrow. Italy vs. Portugal, my predicted showdown since the beginning, my dream matchup. But it would be a pain for me to choose which side to root for. But for now, Here's my World Cup 2006 Best 11:
GK Ricardo (Portugal)
DF Fabio Cannavaro (Italy)
DF Grosso (Italy)
DF Miguel (Portugal)
DF Lahm (Germany)
MF Pirlo (Italy)
MF David Beckham (England)
MF Luis Figo (Portugal)
MF Riquelme (Argentina)
MF Vieira (France)
FW Klose (Germany)
It's hard to choose between Portugal's Ricardo and Italy's Buffon. Both of them have been great but I chose Ricardo because he does not have Cannavaro to help him on defense. I don't like Beckham, but I have to give him credit for lifting the English team. I only picked one forward because none of them had great performance. Afterall, this World Cup has the least goals in the history of the game.
Speaking of Criterion Collection, I just bought Wong Kar-Wai's "In The Mood For Love" from deepdiscountdvd.com and I'm still waiting for it from the mail. I wanted to pick it for the weekly movie night I have with my friends. One of the stupid reasons I wanna pick it is because the film was partially shot in my hometown Macau. Another movie I wanna pick is Shohei Imamura's The Eel.
That's pretty much how my long weekend was spent. Movies and World Cup games. I watched "Hana-bi"(for the second time), "Shoot The Piano Player", "Loves of A Blonde", 'Lady Vengeance" (in theater), "Stolen Kisses" (second time), Dr. Strangelove... and I shall watch "The Fireman's Ball" before I go to bed.
I'm so happy Italy is going to the Final. All I can wish is Portugal will go through tomorrow. Italy vs. Portugal, my predicted showdown since the beginning, my dream matchup. But it would be a pain for me to choose which side to root for. But for now, Here's my World Cup 2006 Best 11:
GK Ricardo (Portugal)
DF Fabio Cannavaro (Italy)
DF Grosso (Italy)
DF Miguel (Portugal)
DF Lahm (Germany)
MF Pirlo (Italy)
MF David Beckham (England)
MF Luis Figo (Portugal)
MF Riquelme (Argentina)
MF Vieira (France)
FW Klose (Germany)
It's hard to choose between Portugal's Ricardo and Italy's Buffon. Both of them have been great but I chose Ricardo because he does not have Cannavaro to help him on defense. I don't like Beckham, but I have to give him credit for lifting the English team. I only picked one forward because none of them had great performance. Afterall, this World Cup has the least goals in the history of the game.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
nowhere man
I hate to break this here (and there're not really people reading this shit), but I'm no good in telling people shit about myself in person (pretty lame for a counselor) and I like to say shit when I feel shitty.The thing I want to say is -- I think I'll probably leave the States this year. There are a few reasons.
Well, the most obvious reason is that I need my working visa to stay but my employer does not seem to handle the matter with much enthusiasm. Couldn't blame them though, since I myself do not feel quite motivated to push anything. Why? I really don't know. Maybe I don't really care about anything.
What am I going to do? Probably go back to my home Macau, at least for a while. I really can't see myself staying there for long. As much as I love my family and home, I feel very alienated for a lot of reasons. So I think I will travel around. I don't have money, maybe I'll be like the Incredible Hulk without being angry and turning green.
I'm fine with leaving this country. There are probably a few things I like miss if I leave: my friends, my work, movies and live music. That's about it.
I think I've said this numerous times. I don't feel like belonging any where. As much as many people want to leave and move some where else, most people knows they always have to a place to fall back to. I don't. Not even my home, because it is not the same anymore, or I don't feel the same towards it.
Maybe I just don't know what to do with myself.
or with life.
Maybe that's why I don't feel very enthusiastic about pursuing anything.
Well, the most obvious reason is that I need my working visa to stay but my employer does not seem to handle the matter with much enthusiasm. Couldn't blame them though, since I myself do not feel quite motivated to push anything. Why? I really don't know. Maybe I don't really care about anything.
What am I going to do? Probably go back to my home Macau, at least for a while. I really can't see myself staying there for long. As much as I love my family and home, I feel very alienated for a lot of reasons. So I think I will travel around. I don't have money, maybe I'll be like the Incredible Hulk without being angry and turning green.
I'm fine with leaving this country. There are probably a few things I like miss if I leave: my friends, my work, movies and live music. That's about it.
I think I've said this numerous times. I don't feel like belonging any where. As much as many people want to leave and move some where else, most people knows they always have to a place to fall back to. I don't. Not even my home, because it is not the same anymore, or I don't feel the same towards it.
Maybe I just don't know what to do with myself.
or with life.
Maybe that's why I don't feel very enthusiastic about pursuing anything.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
nail clipper
I just spent 3 dollars for a nail clipper in CVS. It is such a rip off. A nail clipper is not worth that money. Plus, why the fuck is it so big? What kind of American toes or fingers are they for?
And it's not that sharp.
It just made me feel uncomfortable when I uses it.
Where the hell is my old clipper?
And it's not that sharp.
It just made me feel uncomfortable when I uses it.
Where the hell is my old clipper?
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Jose + 10, Francisco + 10
I really like this adidas ad
This ad reminded me of my childhood when two persons took turns to pick a player for his team. I was always the quite last person to be picked when I was younger, probably because I was small and not very good (but hey, later one time the team I picked played pretty well).
Kids around the globe play the game the same way, and many of us imagine we could pick the great football stars we see on TV.
The ad connects with the audience because it makes our wildest dreams coming true (Jose and his friend even picked past legends Beckenbaur and Platini).
If I could pick 10 players to be on the team with me, I would choose:
Roberto Baggio (hey, my all-time favorite player)
Paolo Maldini (once the best defender in the world, another Italian)
Luis Figo (my favorite Portuguese player)
Eusebio (The Black Pearl, baby)
Diego Maradonna (my first soccer hero)
Vitor Baia (not the best goalkeeper, but always funny to watch)
Hidetoshi Nakata (my favorite Japanese midfielder)
Fabio Cannavaro (great hard-working defender)
Ronaldinho (currently the best)
Alessandro Nesta (another Italian defender I like a lot)
The song by RJD2 in the ad is wicked cool.
This ad reminded me of my childhood when two persons took turns to pick a player for his team. I was always the quite last person to be picked when I was younger, probably because I was small and not very good (but hey, later one time the team I picked played pretty well).
Kids around the globe play the game the same way, and many of us imagine we could pick the great football stars we see on TV.
The ad connects with the audience because it makes our wildest dreams coming true (Jose and his friend even picked past legends Beckenbaur and Platini).
If I could pick 10 players to be on the team with me, I would choose:
Roberto Baggio (hey, my all-time favorite player)
Paolo Maldini (once the best defender in the world, another Italian)
Luis Figo (my favorite Portuguese player)
Eusebio (The Black Pearl, baby)
Diego Maradonna (my first soccer hero)
Vitor Baia (not the best goalkeeper, but always funny to watch)
Hidetoshi Nakata (my favorite Japanese midfielder)
Fabio Cannavaro (great hard-working defender)
Ronaldinho (currently the best)
Alessandro Nesta (another Italian defender I like a lot)
The song by RJD2 in the ad is wicked cool.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
My Life Habit
Every winter, whinchats (a kind of bird) migrate from Asia or Europe to Africa during winter. It is a cycle for them, a habit which does not cease to exist. Every four years, my life is turned upside down for a month. I would deprive of sleep. I would miss school/work. I would be in a constant state of anticipation.
For every four years since I was eight, I dedicate my life to the great spectacle of the World Cup.
Something would be different for me this year, because it will be in the daytime for me (because I'm in the States and The World Cup is in Germany). Am I going to miss it? No. I have already asked for a day off on June 9 so that I could watch the opening match at home. Nothing is holy for Francisco Lo. This is probably as close as it gets.
For every four years since I was eight, I dedicate my life to the great spectacle of the World Cup.
Something would be different for me this year, because it will be in the daytime for me (because I'm in the States and The World Cup is in Germany). Am I going to miss it? No. I have already asked for a day off on June 9 so that I could watch the opening match at home. Nothing is holy for Francisco Lo. This is probably as close as it gets.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Memorial Day
The weather was pretty nice yesterday on Memorial Day. So I went out to take some pictures around my neighborhood. Unfortunately, there are not a lot for me to shoot besides flowers in front of people’s homes (what else? 300-pound middle-aged man holding a beer?). Here are some of my pictures. Click on the pictures for a closer view.
I like the light in this one a lot:
Chessy ass picture with the flag:
I like this one:
Beautiful colors:
I like the light in this one a lot:
Chessy ass picture with the flag:
I like this one:
Beautiful colors:
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken?
I'm very happy to receive the two hard to find 7 inch singles of Camera Obscura from the mail today (from Elefant Records in Spain, to be excat). Earlier through e-mails, Tracyanne (singer of the band) told me she was pretty certain they'll come to Houston this time. Yet I was quite disappointed when I couldn't find "Houston" on their upcoming U.S. tour schedule.
Camera Obscura is going to Dallas and Austin, but not Houston. Damn it, bands always do that to Houston. Skip Dallas, man... don't skip Houston. I'm pretty sure Houston has more music geeks (or thugs, for sure) and we're cooler town.
Anyway, I'll still go to Austin to see them. I missed the chance last time because some jerk crushed my car the weekend before Camera Obscura was playing at SXSW. You can say they are not the greatest band of all time, but their music is definitely beautiful. They have the perfect formula for indie-pop--- jangly guitar, delicate organ/piano, sweet and shy vocals. I'm currently enjoying the vinyl only b-side "I Can't Stay Mad At You" off their new single "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken". Camera Obscura makes the kind of perfect pop that will melt the heart of its audience.
They are a lot more than a Belle & Sebastian-look-alike.
And there are a lot more Scottish bands I wanna see.
When will I see the Fannies?
Camera Obscura is going to Dallas and Austin, but not Houston. Damn it, bands always do that to Houston. Skip Dallas, man... don't skip Houston. I'm pretty sure Houston has more music geeks (or thugs, for sure) and we're cooler town.
Anyway, I'll still go to Austin to see them. I missed the chance last time because some jerk crushed my car the weekend before Camera Obscura was playing at SXSW. You can say they are not the greatest band of all time, but their music is definitely beautiful. They have the perfect formula for indie-pop--- jangly guitar, delicate organ/piano, sweet and shy vocals. I'm currently enjoying the vinyl only b-side "I Can't Stay Mad At You" off their new single "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken". Camera Obscura makes the kind of perfect pop that will melt the heart of its audience.
They are a lot more than a Belle & Sebastian-look-alike.
And there are a lot more Scottish bands I wanna see.
When will I see the Fannies?
Friday, May 19, 2006
Weekend at Austin
I spent my last weekend (5/13) in Austin. Overall, I had a good time. It was good to take a day off, which was a first for me in 2006. I spent most of my time hanging out with my sister and my friend Andy. I have not seen them both for quite a while.
After my sister's non-stop complaining of the length of my hair (from the time I stepped into her house), I asked Andy to cut my hair in order to keep her quiet. I still remember that days when I was still in college and Andy would cut the hair of me and our friends because we were cheap ass bastards. He always does a decent job (hey, it's free. I have no complaints). As much as I like Austin, it always reminds me of the past, for better and for worse. It is a melancholy feeling-- to think about the good memories that are gone. But more important is I treasure what I am and what I have now.
Seeing my sister in college reminded me that I am not that kid in college anymore. I am a much different person now. I recognized how much I have grown all these years. It is a good thing that I am not stuck in a stage whereas there is no growth or learning. I can't imagine (or accept) to live a life without learning and growing everyday. I hope I'll keep it up with myself.
I finally visited Waterloo Records. When I used to live in Austin, I never went there because 33 degrees (now closed) was right by my home (i didn't have a car) and 33 was a very independent/underground record store (the kind that you won't find Coldplay but definitely Acid Mother Temple). Anyway, Waterloo is kind of cool because they have a big ass collection of indie/rock vinyls and t-shirts. It was like a candy shop for me (not the kind of candy shop 50 Cent goes). All the money I saved by cooking at home was flushed down at waterloo after buying numerous records-- a couple Bob Dylan, be your own PET (imported from UK! hard to find), Entroducing...(which i longed to buy), Sea Change and more... I'm glad I'm not living in Austin anymore, or I'll go bankrupt soon.
After my sister's non-stop complaining of the length of my hair (from the time I stepped into her house), I asked Andy to cut my hair in order to keep her quiet. I still remember that days when I was still in college and Andy would cut the hair of me and our friends because we were cheap ass bastards. He always does a decent job (hey, it's free. I have no complaints). As much as I like Austin, it always reminds me of the past, for better and for worse. It is a melancholy feeling-- to think about the good memories that are gone. But more important is I treasure what I am and what I have now.
Seeing my sister in college reminded me that I am not that kid in college anymore. I am a much different person now. I recognized how much I have grown all these years. It is a good thing that I am not stuck in a stage whereas there is no growth or learning. I can't imagine (or accept) to live a life without learning and growing everyday. I hope I'll keep it up with myself.
I finally visited Waterloo Records. When I used to live in Austin, I never went there because 33 degrees (now closed) was right by my home (i didn't have a car) and 33 was a very independent/underground record store (the kind that you won't find Coldplay but definitely Acid Mother Temple). Anyway, Waterloo is kind of cool because they have a big ass collection of indie/rock vinyls and t-shirts. It was like a candy shop for me (not the kind of candy shop 50 Cent goes). All the money I saved by cooking at home was flushed down at waterloo after buying numerous records-- a couple Bob Dylan, be your own PET (imported from UK! hard to find), Entroducing...(which i longed to buy), Sea Change and more... I'm glad I'm not living in Austin anymore, or I'll go bankrupt soon.
Friday, May 12, 2006
White power my yellow ass
I can't stand the cable news channels anymore. I still found it funny and laughable for their redundance and ignorance, but the white supremacy, male supremacy and classist shit is totally getting into me. It's so annoying it just made me wanted to fight back more
One of these days, you gonna see me wearing a shirt saying "FUCK WHITE SUPREMACY".
Yes, you will.
One of these days, you gonna see me wearing a shirt saying "FUCK WHITE SUPREMACY".
Yes, you will.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Taking Control
While David Blaine was wasting the past week living his life in a bowl of water, I was trying to change some of my living habits. I can proudly say that I have cooked dinner for myself 7 out of the past 8 days (the only night I went out to eat was Cinco De Mayo). I know it is nothing big for a lot of people, but I'm glad that I am not eating out all the time anymore. Eating at home saves me quite a lot of money and the food outside is not always satisfactory anyway. I also feel productive and content about being able to take care of my duties outside of work. Besides, I did try to clean up my place, well, it's about only 60% done but it is a good step.
I'm longing for the June 6 release of Camera Obscura's new album "Let's Get Out Of This Country". I hope they will tour in the U.S., I mean HOUSTON TEXAS to be excat.
I'm longing for the June 6 release of Camera Obscura's new album "Let's Get Out Of This Country". I hope they will tour in the U.S., I mean HOUSTON TEXAS to be excat.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Los Angeles Rapists
A basketball team has 5 starters. In the Los Angeles Lakers, two of them are rapists. Kwame Brown, one of the biggest bust in the NBA, is now under investigation by the police department. Innocent until proven guilty? Who makes this kind of shit up?
Just one more reason to dislike the Lakers.
Speaking of innocence, Kobe was so innocent that he agreed to issue an apology to the victim for what he had done after they settle the case. Who would apologize for their actions if they really think they didn't do anything wrong? (hint: someone on the Lakers team)
I'll cheer for the Suns to beat the Lakers (even before all this Kwame Brown bullshit).
I'll even cheer for the Los Angeles Clippers (hey, they are the life-long underdog).
not the lakers.
Just one more reason to dislike the Lakers.
Speaking of innocence, Kobe was so innocent that he agreed to issue an apology to the victim for what he had done after they settle the case. Who would apologize for their actions if they really think they didn't do anything wrong? (hint: someone on the Lakers team)
I'll cheer for the Suns to beat the Lakers (even before all this Kwame Brown bullshit).
I'll even cheer for the Los Angeles Clippers (hey, they are the life-long underdog).
not the lakers.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
stress
This week, I feel like I have been affected by my stressors physically and mentally. There are a few things which has been wearing me out and I'm trying to hang in there. I know everything would eventually be okay (what wouldn't) but I can't deny the fact that I'm not feeling well. I have problems sleeping sometimes, I lose quite a bit of my appetite and of course the sure weird feeling I have when my anxiety is eating me inside (like butterflies in the stomach, but the poisonous kind).
I find out that i don't want to talk much about it and I feel helpless. I obviously cannot control a lot of external forces but it is bad that I'm internalizing all the crap.
Like the Staples' commercial, I wish life has an "easy button".
o god, fuck that shit.
Listening to Elliott Smith kind of makes me worse.
I find out that i don't want to talk much about it and I feel helpless. I obviously cannot control a lot of external forces but it is bad that I'm internalizing all the crap.
Like the Staples' commercial, I wish life has an "easy button".
o god, fuck that shit.
Listening to Elliott Smith kind of makes me worse.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Age is just a three-letter word?
Ageism.
Prejudice and oppression existed against old people (hmm, "“seniors", I mean) in our society. Stereotypes like slow, senile, weak are often associated with elderly people.
On the other side of the spectrum, young people could be treated unfairly because of their age, too.
At the age of 24, I feel I don'’t get respect from some people just because I am young (relatively speaking). People probably won'’t admit it, so I guess it is easier to find some other excuses to cast their doubts on me. Growing up in my own culture whereas seniority is highly valued, I always felt it was easy to dismiss because I was a kid or I was just young.
Things aren'’t that radically different in America. My relatively young age let some to easily conclude that I don't really know much about anything. Like I just said, people probably made some other excuses rather than being outright ageist (same dynamic with any other forms of oppression). It's easier to pick on me for talking funny, looking funny or acting funny.
Yeah, even though I'’m the one who'’s in the position of power. Possibly, people feel more difficult to listen to someone half their age.
Hey, I don't even want to be in charge. But some assholes just keep making life difficult for me. (At the same time, I'm grateful for the faith and trust of those who know me.)
Keep dissing me as long as you like. I'’ll let my actions speak for me. Frankly, people's biases and prejudices stem from their own insecurities and its roots has nothing to do with me.
Your stupidity will be the fuel of my motivation.
Prejudice and oppression existed against old people (hmm, "“seniors", I mean) in our society. Stereotypes like slow, senile, weak are often associated with elderly people.
On the other side of the spectrum, young people could be treated unfairly because of their age, too.
At the age of 24, I feel I don'’t get respect from some people just because I am young (relatively speaking). People probably won'’t admit it, so I guess it is easier to find some other excuses to cast their doubts on me. Growing up in my own culture whereas seniority is highly valued, I always felt it was easy to dismiss because I was a kid or I was just young.
Things aren'’t that radically different in America. My relatively young age let some to easily conclude that I don't really know much about anything. Like I just said, people probably made some other excuses rather than being outright ageist (same dynamic with any other forms of oppression). It's easier to pick on me for talking funny, looking funny or acting funny.
Yeah, even though I'’m the one who'’s in the position of power. Possibly, people feel more difficult to listen to someone half their age.
Hey, I don't even want to be in charge. But some assholes just keep making life difficult for me. (At the same time, I'm grateful for the faith and trust of those who know me.)
Keep dissing me as long as you like. I'’ll let my actions speak for me. Frankly, people's biases and prejudices stem from their own insecurities and its roots has nothing to do with me.
Your stupidity will be the fuel of my motivation.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Brigitte Bardot should be stuffed with French bread
Brigitte Bardot recently went to Canada and "pleaded" the Canadiens to stop seal hunting.
"How can we continue to kill seals in a rich country like Canada... I am not crazy... I am pleading with you," said Bardot.
No, ma'am. You are actually CRAZY. Rich and famous people like you are entitled to your own opinion. More so, you are also entitled to shut the fuck up. It's one thing to have an opinion, but it is another thing when you are trying to impose your self-righteous values to other people.
"This will likely be my last visit to Canada before I die. I want to see this barbaric massacre stopped before then," she said.
This should be my last time listening to your bullshit before you die. Your anti-muslim (Islamization of France?) and anti-gay (fairground freaks?) comments gives you a lot of respect in public speaking, right? I found it so amusing sometimes when people can advocate so hard for animals while being a total ass to their fellow Homo Sapiens. Maybe it said "Homo", that's why Bardot didn't like us. I bet she's the MORE than human, isn't she? She's SO IN TUNE with the seals and nature. I'm sure they won't bite her head off because her meat is too soggy to chew on. What's the next news header? "Brigitte Bardot pleaded that lions should stop killing Hyenas."
I am not against Animal Rights. I'm just against the barbaric "animalization" of human beings (of the "humanization" of animals). I'm disgusted by the snobbery and smugness of the self-absorbed ones. Of course, nobody (including myself) is immune to that, but some people's heads tend to get bigger than others'.
"How can we continue to kill seals in a rich country like Canada... I am not crazy... I am pleading with you," said Bardot.
No, ma'am. You are actually CRAZY. Rich and famous people like you are entitled to your own opinion. More so, you are also entitled to shut the fuck up. It's one thing to have an opinion, but it is another thing when you are trying to impose your self-righteous values to other people.
"This will likely be my last visit to Canada before I die. I want to see this barbaric massacre stopped before then," she said.
This should be my last time listening to your bullshit before you die. Your anti-muslim (Islamization of France?) and anti-gay (fairground freaks?) comments gives you a lot of respect in public speaking, right? I found it so amusing sometimes when people can advocate so hard for animals while being a total ass to their fellow Homo Sapiens. Maybe it said "Homo", that's why Bardot didn't like us. I bet she's the MORE than human, isn't she? She's SO IN TUNE with the seals and nature. I'm sure they won't bite her head off because her meat is too soggy to chew on. What's the next news header? "Brigitte Bardot pleaded that lions should stop killing Hyenas."
I am not against Animal Rights. I'm just against the barbaric "animalization" of human beings (of the "humanization" of animals). I'm disgusted by the snobbery and smugness of the self-absorbed ones. Of course, nobody (including myself) is immune to that, but some people's heads tend to get bigger than others'.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
"Crash" is racist, says Francisco Lo
I saw “Crash” tonight with my friend Joe at the Angelica tonight. Supposedly, this is “The Movie of the year” according to the Oscars. Edgy thought-provoking racism-talking film, right? Sorry to say, but I think it isn’t that great. In some aspects, it can pretty bad.
Some of the characters in the movie are over-the-top racist. White people just don’t say it out loud about being racist. Maybe some do, but the truth is racism is more under the skin. Much of the conversation in the movie lacks subtlety. Brandon Frazer’s employee said shit like “damn black people and pointed out “stats” about black people and jail. Are you kidding me? A white person with slightly little sense of political correctness will not say that crap in front of a black person (you don’t even have to be culturally sensitive at all). Some people may think that way, but most people don’t think OUT LOUD.
Ludacris’ character was pretty half-baked. One minute he was talking about why that white women shouldn’t be afraid to see black guys like him. As he finished his sentence, he just pulled out a gun and carjacked her. The writers may try to make him as a “young intelligent black man who made some bad choices”, but the only impression I get is he’s full of crap.
Ironically, I think the movie itself is quite racist. Matt Dillion was this racist cop that violated an innocent couple because they are black. Thirty minutes down the movie, he is the fucking hero saving the same woman whom he molested. Stop feeding me with the shit about him being racist because he thought minorities ripped his dad’s chances. That’s just minimizing the complexity of racism. On the other hand, Ryan Phillippe tried very hard not to let racism come into his work. Yet he ended up killing a black man out of fear. Okay, so the racist cop is the hero and the trying-not-to-be racist rookie ended up as the bad guy. No wonder Matt Dillion gets a Oscar nomination. There are not many chances that stupid “liberal” Hollywood gets to honor a racist hero. Not since “Birth Of A Nation”.
The storyline between the Iranian and the Mexican locksmith was pretty laughable and cliché. I have to go jihad on that. What about the Chinaman? Man, why didn’t Ludaric just leave that Ching Chong under his truck and drag that motherfucker down three more blocks. Maybe it’ll be more entertaining. (Sandra Bullock’s falling down the stairs totally cracked me up.)
Much of the dialogue and some of the characters are just not real enough, yet the movie desperately trying to be REAL. And that is the real problem with the movie. It is okay to be over-the-top sometimes as long as you don't try to portray it as the "real thing". The two scenes with Terence Howard are the only parts of the movie I like. His character showed more complexity and his story was more down to earth. Besides, I’m very impressed by his acting. However, Crash is too ambitious and the amount of subplots diluted the remaining strengths of the movie.
I have to say, Crash is a poser. People can feel good about watching it and think they recognized racism today. But the real world is a lot of complex and subtle than the movie. Crash made racism so cool, it made me want to be racist.
(Was the snow at the end supposed to be a symbol of white power?)
Some of the characters in the movie are over-the-top racist. White people just don’t say it out loud about being racist. Maybe some do, but the truth is racism is more under the skin. Much of the conversation in the movie lacks subtlety. Brandon Frazer’s employee said shit like “damn black people and pointed out “stats” about black people and jail. Are you kidding me? A white person with slightly little sense of political correctness will not say that crap in front of a black person (you don’t even have to be culturally sensitive at all). Some people may think that way, but most people don’t think OUT LOUD.
Ludacris’ character was pretty half-baked. One minute he was talking about why that white women shouldn’t be afraid to see black guys like him. As he finished his sentence, he just pulled out a gun and carjacked her. The writers may try to make him as a “young intelligent black man who made some bad choices”, but the only impression I get is he’s full of crap.
Ironically, I think the movie itself is quite racist. Matt Dillion was this racist cop that violated an innocent couple because they are black. Thirty minutes down the movie, he is the fucking hero saving the same woman whom he molested. Stop feeding me with the shit about him being racist because he thought minorities ripped his dad’s chances. That’s just minimizing the complexity of racism. On the other hand, Ryan Phillippe tried very hard not to let racism come into his work. Yet he ended up killing a black man out of fear. Okay, so the racist cop is the hero and the trying-not-to-be racist rookie ended up as the bad guy. No wonder Matt Dillion gets a Oscar nomination. There are not many chances that stupid “liberal” Hollywood gets to honor a racist hero. Not since “Birth Of A Nation”.
The storyline between the Iranian and the Mexican locksmith was pretty laughable and cliché. I have to go jihad on that. What about the Chinaman? Man, why didn’t Ludaric just leave that Ching Chong under his truck and drag that motherfucker down three more blocks. Maybe it’ll be more entertaining. (Sandra Bullock’s falling down the stairs totally cracked me up.)
Much of the dialogue and some of the characters are just not real enough, yet the movie desperately trying to be REAL. And that is the real problem with the movie. It is okay to be over-the-top sometimes as long as you don't try to portray it as the "real thing". The two scenes with Terence Howard are the only parts of the movie I like. His character showed more complexity and his story was more down to earth. Besides, I’m very impressed by his acting. However, Crash is too ambitious and the amount of subplots diluted the remaining strengths of the movie.
I have to say, Crash is a poser. People can feel good about watching it and think they recognized racism today. But the real world is a lot of complex and subtle than the movie. Crash made racism so cool, it made me want to be racist.
(Was the snow at the end supposed to be a symbol of white power?)
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
The "Hard" Life
As a domestic violence and sexual assault counselor, people always ask me about the difficulty of handling the job and my own well-being. Yes, the work can be pretty tough, but I think I handle my work pretty well (so far). What gives me headaches seems to be my life outside of my job.
I feel fulfilled through working even though it can be quite tiring. Things are in place and I know what I need to do, and how to do it. However, after a long day of work, I arrived home feeling lost and confused. I'm stumbled on the most mundane things in my daily life-- keeping my place tidy, finding what to eat, taking care of my own bills and responsibility. Those things seem simple, but I feel so unmotivated completing them. And moreover, sometimes I feel pretty purposeless.
I feel fulfilled through working even though it can be quite tiring. Things are in place and I know what I need to do, and how to do it. However, after a long day of work, I arrived home feeling lost and confused. I'm stumbled on the most mundane things in my daily life-- keeping my place tidy, finding what to eat, taking care of my own bills and responsibility. Those things seem simple, but I feel so unmotivated completing them. And moreover, sometimes I feel pretty purposeless.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
March 16 was a beginning of new things
March 16, I started my new job, or new position, I should say.
There is nothing radically different in terms of what I do, but a change is a change. It is fortunate that I'm still around the people I'm familiar with. I can see that this job will be more fulfilling for me personally and professionally (not monetary). I know my new boss since I was an intern and I'm glad to work under her since she's very supportive and knows what I do (counseling). On the other hand, I see a lot of challenges ahead of me, but I am looking forward to overcome them. I think this will be a definitive moment for me as a counselor.
March 16, my friend Lisa gave birth to the very healthy Gabrielle. Happy Birthday! I found it so amazing because I was working with Lisa everyday during the past 7 or 8 months and I became a witness of this inspiring process.
Everyday, new lives are born. Everyday, many die and decay. Everyday, there is an end to a story. But everyday, there is also a new beginning for a new story. The cycle never ends. It may sound unbearably hopeless, but it can also make people feel forever hopeful.
There is nothing radically different in terms of what I do, but a change is a change. It is fortunate that I'm still around the people I'm familiar with. I can see that this job will be more fulfilling for me personally and professionally (not monetary). I know my new boss since I was an intern and I'm glad to work under her since she's very supportive and knows what I do (counseling). On the other hand, I see a lot of challenges ahead of me, but I am looking forward to overcome them. I think this will be a definitive moment for me as a counselor.
March 16, my friend Lisa gave birth to the very healthy Gabrielle. Happy Birthday! I found it so amazing because I was working with Lisa everyday during the past 7 or 8 months and I became a witness of this inspiring process.
Everyday, new lives are born. Everyday, many die and decay. Everyday, there is an end to a story. But everyday, there is also a new beginning for a new story. The cycle never ends. It may sound unbearably hopeless, but it can also make people feel forever hopeful.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
laundry robbery
some sick fuck stole all my clothes from the dryer (underwear, socks, bed sheets).
I'm furious.
Somewhere, some mothefucker is wearing my underwear. This is disturbing.
I wish his dickhead burns in flames.
I'm furious.
Somewhere, some mothefucker is wearing my underwear. This is disturbing.
I wish his dickhead burns in flames.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Mogwai songs
Mogwai songs have no lyrics, but because of their names, I dedicated:
“Hunted by a Freak” to the 78-year-old lawyer who got shot by Dick Cheney
“Stanley Kubrick” to Steven Spielberg to remind him that he does not know shit about Kubrick (and A.I. sucks)
“My Father, My King” to George Bush Sr.
“2 Rights Make 1 Wrong” to right wing stupid fucks.
“You Don’t Know Jesus” to Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.
“I am not Batman” to George Clooney
“Angels vs. Aliens” to Tom Cruise and Issac Hayes
“Emergency Trap” to FEMA
“Glasgow Mega-Snake” to Tommy Lee… oops, he’s not from Scotland.
“Hunted by a Freak” to the 78-year-old lawyer who got shot by Dick Cheney
“Stanley Kubrick” to Steven Spielberg to remind him that he does not know shit about Kubrick (and A.I. sucks)
“My Father, My King” to George Bush Sr.
“2 Rights Make 1 Wrong” to right wing stupid fucks.
“You Don’t Know Jesus” to Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.
“I am not Batman” to George Clooney
“Angels vs. Aliens” to Tom Cruise and Issac Hayes
“Emergency Trap” to FEMA
“Glasgow Mega-Snake” to Tommy Lee… oops, he’s not from Scotland.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Street Walking Man
Since I don’t have a car temporary now, I decided to walk around my “neighborhood” on this Saturday afternoon. The weather was okay. It was a little hot but really windy. At least I didn’t have to sweat like a pig.
I walked down Waugh Drive, as I planned to walk by Montrose then to Sound Exchange on Richmond. It has been a while since I really “walk down the streets”. Houston is so car-oriented (as in most places in the States), it is not really walker-friendly. But at least around Montrose, there are more pedestrians and shops (and sidewalks).
The sight of the neighborhood down Waugh looked very different to me today because I was walking the opposite direction of this one-way street. Besides, just the fact that I was walking instead of riding in a car made a lot of differences.
As I passed by the Chinese Consulate Office on Montrose, I saw a group of Falun Gong practitioners doing their “exercise” in front of the building. I think I saw them more than once before, but this time they even had a black dude in the group. I don’t really know what’s the deal with them. Are they really a cult? Or were they innocent yoga-like practicing people? The Chinese government’s side of the story is definitely unreliable (like 10 times more unreliable than Scott McClellan) but Falun Gong definitely looks a little “cult-ish”.
Then I walked onto Richmond and stopped at Lucky Burger. There was a car accident right across the street and the two cars involved looked quite damaged. I was sitting in the restaurant eating as I saw the traffic stalled. God, I hate traffic accidents (even though I was not involved).
Finally I arrived at Sound Exchange. I can’t find any records I want to buy. But it is always nice to flip through those piles of vinyl. I don’t have anything better to do anyway. Then I walked to Cactus Records nearby. As I walked in the door, I could feel the blaze of heat attacking me there. There wasn’t any air conditioning and there were people watching the in-store performance. Dude, I know you guys are closing but how can you be that cheap. It totally reminded me of my ex-roommate Sean Martin the fucking ass hole. That sick fuck had me endured 5 weeks of 90 degrees of heat in the apartment (which he claimed is a “condo”). I wished he would die of syphilis. Well, back to Cactus: 90% of their shelves were empty already when I got there. I tried to find the first album of Camera Obscura and the Royal Tenenbaums DVD but I came out empty-handed. Shit I could not wait to get out of that store and it felt like Heaven when I walked into the air-conditioned Book Stop.
As I tried to walked back home through Westheimer, I saw a lot of people walking in-and-out of thrive stores. I walked into one and they have pretty cool and good-priced clothes. But I was in no mood of clothing-shopping. Too bad they don’t have any records to sell. I decided to walk back to Montrose so that I could look for the Royal Tenenbaums DVD there. Coincidently, I met my friend Steve in the store (as he was visiting Nadia). That DVD costs $19.99 there and I remembered the price is like 15 bucks on the internet (www.deepdiscountdvd.com, great prices there). So I told myself to behave and save it for later.
At last, I was going home. Then I walked in to this interesting store I saw every time I drove by Waugh. They sell South American crafts and decorations there. It was one of those stores that I see all the time but never make an effort to walk inside. They have pretty cool hats (or sombreros).
Jesus fucking Christ, I spent most of my night looking for cars on the internet. It is a pain in MY ass. I am totally lost and confused. I welcome any suggestion or advice from anyone.
I walked down Waugh Drive, as I planned to walk by Montrose then to Sound Exchange on Richmond. It has been a while since I really “walk down the streets”. Houston is so car-oriented (as in most places in the States), it is not really walker-friendly. But at least around Montrose, there are more pedestrians and shops (and sidewalks).
The sight of the neighborhood down Waugh looked very different to me today because I was walking the opposite direction of this one-way street. Besides, just the fact that I was walking instead of riding in a car made a lot of differences.
As I passed by the Chinese Consulate Office on Montrose, I saw a group of Falun Gong practitioners doing their “exercise” in front of the building. I think I saw them more than once before, but this time they even had a black dude in the group. I don’t really know what’s the deal with them. Are they really a cult? Or were they innocent yoga-like practicing people? The Chinese government’s side of the story is definitely unreliable (like 10 times more unreliable than Scott McClellan) but Falun Gong definitely looks a little “cult-ish”.
Then I walked onto Richmond and stopped at Lucky Burger. There was a car accident right across the street and the two cars involved looked quite damaged. I was sitting in the restaurant eating as I saw the traffic stalled. God, I hate traffic accidents (even though I was not involved).
Finally I arrived at Sound Exchange. I can’t find any records I want to buy. But it is always nice to flip through those piles of vinyl. I don’t have anything better to do anyway. Then I walked to Cactus Records nearby. As I walked in the door, I could feel the blaze of heat attacking me there. There wasn’t any air conditioning and there were people watching the in-store performance. Dude, I know you guys are closing but how can you be that cheap. It totally reminded me of my ex-roommate Sean Martin the fucking ass hole. That sick fuck had me endured 5 weeks of 90 degrees of heat in the apartment (which he claimed is a “condo”). I wished he would die of syphilis. Well, back to Cactus: 90% of their shelves were empty already when I got there. I tried to find the first album of Camera Obscura and the Royal Tenenbaums DVD but I came out empty-handed. Shit I could not wait to get out of that store and it felt like Heaven when I walked into the air-conditioned Book Stop.
As I tried to walked back home through Westheimer, I saw a lot of people walking in-and-out of thrive stores. I walked into one and they have pretty cool and good-priced clothes. But I was in no mood of clothing-shopping. Too bad they don’t have any records to sell. I decided to walk back to Montrose so that I could look for the Royal Tenenbaums DVD there. Coincidently, I met my friend Steve in the store (as he was visiting Nadia). That DVD costs $19.99 there and I remembered the price is like 15 bucks on the internet (www.deepdiscountdvd.com, great prices there). So I told myself to behave and save it for later.
At last, I was going home. Then I walked in to this interesting store I saw every time I drove by Waugh. They sell South American crafts and decorations there. It was one of those stores that I see all the time but never make an effort to walk inside. They have pretty cool hats (or sombreros).
Jesus fucking Christ, I spent most of my night looking for cars on the internet. It is a pain in MY ass. I am totally lost and confused. I welcome any suggestion or advice from anyone.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Movies & I (part 1.5)
This is not an exact continuation of the last related blog (Movies & I part 1). Actually, I’m writing this in response to the recent Oscars results (and how it affected my views as a movie fan). I can never hide my disdain for that stupid award ceremony, for its legendary bad taste (Raging Bull, 2001, Citizen Kane got no shit from them). This year was probably more acceptable since there were a lot of “small” quality production in competition. So much about “Crash” upsetting “Brokeback Mountain”…. I haven’t seen it yet, but I bet it is probably going to be better than Titanic, Gladiator, Shakespeare in Love, Lord of the Rings III and many more mediocre-or-piece-of-shit movies. At least it’s not TRASH.
Ang Lee finally became the first non-white person to win the best director award. George Clooney may try to make Hollywood liberal. But Hollywood is just as conservative as your grandma’s choice of underwear. It takes almost 80 fucking years for a non-white person to break it through. Black actors/actresses can’t get any recognition unless they play thugs or musicians or fucked by a white man. And you don’t even many other minorities playing any significant roles in American movies, except for racially stereotyped roles. They played so many stereotyped roles-- I think those stupid comics can stop making their stupid politically incorrect jokes or skits.
I hope Ang Lee’s recognition would give light to other budding Chinese filmmakers. Tarantino the knucklehead may think that Hong Kong movies may be the best thing in the world, but the truth is Hong Kong movies suck worse than the last blow job you get from a five-dollar hooker. There is practically no independent movie scene: I have met one indie filmmaker and the only way to “make it to the game” for him and his fellow filmmakers is to catch to eye of major studios and make crap like everyone else. Wong Kar-Wai is one of the very few who manages to maintain doing his own stuff (I still don’t understand who he managed to do so). In Ang Lee’s home country Taiwan, they have some really great directors (possibly better than Lee), but it is a dying scene over there. In China, they have a lot of good directors too but the government censorship is suffocating. Then in my home Macau, there are two fucking theaters in the whole town… so please don’t even mention about a movie scene (actually I know there was this one person who made an independent movie which was shown in Hong Kong for a few weeks, and that’s about it). Hence, it is pretty hard out here for a pimp (or filmmaker in this case).
Legend has it that everyone who bought the initial printing of the Velvet Underground’s debut went on to form their own bands. I hope the mainstream recognition of Ang Lee will inspire other young Chinese people to follow his footsteps. It is time to start the revolution.
XXXXX
On a side note, I don’t seem to hear much about the controversy of the “gayness” of Brokeback from the other side of the globe? No one seems to care much about that. Everyone is just happy for Lee. According to my friend Andy, “Brokeback Mountain” became the first and only “indie” movie shown in a theater in Macau (I still can’t believe they actually show something other than Narnia). None of the other nominees were ever in theaters, not even in Hong Kong.
Ang Lee finally became the first non-white person to win the best director award. George Clooney may try to make Hollywood liberal. But Hollywood is just as conservative as your grandma’s choice of underwear. It takes almost 80 fucking years for a non-white person to break it through. Black actors/actresses can’t get any recognition unless they play thugs or musicians or fucked by a white man. And you don’t even many other minorities playing any significant roles in American movies, except for racially stereotyped roles. They played so many stereotyped roles-- I think those stupid comics can stop making their stupid politically incorrect jokes or skits.
I hope Ang Lee’s recognition would give light to other budding Chinese filmmakers. Tarantino the knucklehead may think that Hong Kong movies may be the best thing in the world, but the truth is Hong Kong movies suck worse than the last blow job you get from a five-dollar hooker. There is practically no independent movie scene: I have met one indie filmmaker and the only way to “make it to the game” for him and his fellow filmmakers is to catch to eye of major studios and make crap like everyone else. Wong Kar-Wai is one of the very few who manages to maintain doing his own stuff (I still don’t understand who he managed to do so). In Ang Lee’s home country Taiwan, they have some really great directors (possibly better than Lee), but it is a dying scene over there. In China, they have a lot of good directors too but the government censorship is suffocating. Then in my home Macau, there are two fucking theaters in the whole town… so please don’t even mention about a movie scene (actually I know there was this one person who made an independent movie which was shown in Hong Kong for a few weeks, and that’s about it). Hence, it is pretty hard out here for a pimp (or filmmaker in this case).
Legend has it that everyone who bought the initial printing of the Velvet Underground’s debut went on to form their own bands. I hope the mainstream recognition of Ang Lee will inspire other young Chinese people to follow his footsteps. It is time to start the revolution.
XXXXX
On a side note, I don’t seem to hear much about the controversy of the “gayness” of Brokeback from the other side of the globe? No one seems to care much about that. Everyone is just happy for Lee. According to my friend Andy, “Brokeback Mountain” became the first and only “indie” movie shown in a theater in Macau (I still can’t believe they actually show something other than Narnia). None of the other nominees were ever in theaters, not even in Hong Kong.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The Tom Monaghan Town Massacre
Domino's Pizza owner Tom Monaghan, who is also a so-called "philanthropist" and a right-wing millionaire, is trying to build his own town in Florida which will strictly following "Catholic principles" -- with no place to get an abortion, pornography or birth control.
When was the last time someone did something like this? There was Jim Jones' Jonestown which ended with everybody drinking the very cool Kool-Aid (actually it was a cheaper brand, that's how cheap cults are).Even earlier, there was the Nueva Germania founded by Elizabeth Nietszche and her "Aryan" hubby. Well, that dude ended up killing himself because of the debts and Elizabeth went back to Germany. That piece of shitland became one of the poorest places in South America and a haven for inbreeding.
Good luck, Mr.Monaghan. Wait, you don't need luck. As you have said, you have "God's will" already. More importantly, he has Jeb Bush's blessing too. On second thought, he actually needs no abortion clinics, nor does he need to sell birth control. Why would he? If he got a bunch of retired old people (sorry, I know I should say seniors) in his town, why the fuck would they need that shit? He only needs to have viagra and cialis as pizza toppings.
How will this story end? I am sure that all the old fucks (I mean, respectfully, seniors) will die of heart attack after eating his high-cholesterol pizzas everyday (did I say that would be the only food source in town?). Straight to heaven, biatch.
Next time when you call Domino's, ask them if they have plan B for topping.
When was the last time someone did something like this? There was Jim Jones' Jonestown which ended with everybody drinking the very cool Kool-Aid (actually it was a cheaper brand, that's how cheap cults are).Even earlier, there was the Nueva Germania founded by Elizabeth Nietszche and her "Aryan" hubby. Well, that dude ended up killing himself because of the debts and Elizabeth went back to Germany. That piece of shitland became one of the poorest places in South America and a haven for inbreeding.
Good luck, Mr.Monaghan. Wait, you don't need luck. As you have said, you have "God's will" already. More importantly, he has Jeb Bush's blessing too. On second thought, he actually needs no abortion clinics, nor does he need to sell birth control. Why would he? If he got a bunch of retired old people (sorry, I know I should say seniors) in his town, why the fuck would they need that shit? He only needs to have viagra and cialis as pizza toppings.
How will this story end? I am sure that all the old fucks (I mean, respectfully, seniors) will die of heart attack after eating his high-cholesterol pizzas everyday (did I say that would be the only food source in town?). Straight to heaven, biatch.
Next time when you call Domino's, ask them if they have plan B for topping.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Movies & I (part 1)
I have been going to my friends' weekly movie night regularly. I'm a movie junkie. The first experience in a cinema happened when I was about 6 or 7-- I watched Hayao Miyazaki's "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind" -- one of the best animated films which I could not fully understand at that age. I grew up watching animated movies and Hollywood blockbusters (but I have always hated Disney flicks). Until Stanley Kubrick's "Clockwork Orange"-- at that point, at the age of 17, it opened my eyes and the doors of my perception. Since then, I am addicted to movies that worth my time. During my 2 years of boring life in Abilene, watching movies was the best thing I could do in this desert town (and using the first incarnation of Napster). There was a small video store "nearby" the campus. I would spend 15 minutes to walk there and rent movies I looked up from the internet. They did not have the best collection... but I just watched whatever I can, including some Kubrick, some Evil Dead... I also tried to go to the theaters to see some mediocre flicks. I just want to be in the cinema.
Every year I went home (Macau), I would go to China with my mentor/friend Sid for "movie-shopping". China has a lot of illegal pirate DVD vendors. It is a heaven for movie junkie because they have tons of foreign movies and indie cult flicks and the price is like a dollar for a DVD. Some of you very righteous (or just self-righteous) ones may think that this is wrong, but the truth is I can't even find these great movies in legal-DVD-selling shops (some you can't even find in America). 99% of the shit sold in legit shops are very mainstream, they are just too conservative to sell little-known movies. Over the years, I have bought a shitload of movies and I have not watched all of them up to this date.
Then I moved to Austin. Little did I know Austin was a great movie town. Then I noticed this small theater right by campus in the Dobie "Mall". I convinced my then-girlfriend Erica to see Amelie with me. It was great and since then going to movie (and movie-hopping in other theaters) became a weekly routine for us.
I'll continue my story with the next blog later.
Gotta sleep.
Pulp's "Something Changed"--- somehow it made me wanna cry.
hopefully, I'll get my reparation money from the fucking car insurance company this coming week.
Every year I went home (Macau), I would go to China with my mentor/friend Sid for "movie-shopping". China has a lot of illegal pirate DVD vendors. It is a heaven for movie junkie because they have tons of foreign movies and indie cult flicks and the price is like a dollar for a DVD. Some of you very righteous (or just self-righteous) ones may think that this is wrong, but the truth is I can't even find these great movies in legal-DVD-selling shops (some you can't even find in America). 99% of the shit sold in legit shops are very mainstream, they are just too conservative to sell little-known movies. Over the years, I have bought a shitload of movies and I have not watched all of them up to this date.
Then I moved to Austin. Little did I know Austin was a great movie town. Then I noticed this small theater right by campus in the Dobie "Mall". I convinced my then-girlfriend Erica to see Amelie with me. It was great and since then going to movie (and movie-hopping in other theaters) became a weekly routine for us.
I'll continue my story with the next blog later.
Gotta sleep.
Pulp's "Something Changed"--- somehow it made me wanna cry.
hopefully, I'll get my reparation money from the fucking car insurance company this coming week.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Sunday, February 19, 2006
"Frontlash"
While I was looking for some music videos on Yahoo!Music, a headline caught my attention on the main page. It says "Federline says he's ready for backlash"Even without reading the article, I think it is bullshit already. Did I just see the word "backlash" in the title? I have to disagree with the writers of Associated Press with their choice of the word "backlash". According to various credible dictionaries, "backlash" means “a sudden violent backward movement or reaction” or “a strong and adverse reaction by a large number of people.” I am sure there is a large number of people would is jealous of the obvious talent and genius of Mr. Spears, but was there EVER a time that he was loved and praised by millions? The answer is definitely “No.” If there was NEVER a positive and forward movement for Mr. Spears career (or the lack of it), how can it constitute a BACKlash? The direction of the public’s sentiment has never changed, it has always been straightforward. There has been always a “frontlash” for Mr.Spears.
How dare you, Associated Press! Tampering with your stupid facts about K-Fed after snubbing Stephen Colbert with "Truthiness"
How dare you, Associated Press! Tampering with your stupid facts about K-Fed after snubbing Stephen Colbert with "Truthiness"
like a rolling stone
Tonight, I finally told my parents about the instability of my job situation. I hesitated to tell them a couple months ago because there were too many questions I could not answer myself. Well, there are still a lot of questions left to answer, but there are definitely less options.
I'll still have a "stable" job until May at least. But I need to find a job soon, even though there is a lack of motivation in my part. I felt quite overwhelmed sometimes and that is why I don't want to care about anything. I am not a U.S. citizen. So if I want to stay one year after my graduation, I would need to find an employer who would help me with apply for a working visa. I don't really have much expectation from my current employer (hey, they can't even keep me for sure, what can I expect from them). My family missed me being away from them and my mother would really be happy to see me back. Plus, her mother (my grandma) is terminally ill.
On the other hand, I have a lot of great friends here in Houston now that I would feel sad to leave them. Steve and Nadia are expecting their first baby, I would really hate to miss that. John and Mia are going to get married, and I would like to join them for their special day. Not to mention hanging out with other friends on a regular basis. Also, my field (counseling/psychology) is so under-developed in Macau right now I can guess how much resistance it would be for me to work there.
I am not the kind of immigrant is looking for the stupid American Dream. If I don't have any friends here, I won't even want to stay here for another day. Yet my concept of home has been blurred by the fact that Macau changed so much in these few years, I feel really alienated. Is it still the home I use to know? I surely miss my parents, and the home I used to know. At the same time, America is not my home either.So I feel a bit "homeless". I feel lost and don't really know what home really is now. Like Dylan in the song, there is "no direction home".
I never really talked about this crap with anybody.
I'll still have a "stable" job until May at least. But I need to find a job soon, even though there is a lack of motivation in my part. I felt quite overwhelmed sometimes and that is why I don't want to care about anything. I am not a U.S. citizen. So if I want to stay one year after my graduation, I would need to find an employer who would help me with apply for a working visa. I don't really have much expectation from my current employer (hey, they can't even keep me for sure, what can I expect from them). My family missed me being away from them and my mother would really be happy to see me back. Plus, her mother (my grandma) is terminally ill.
On the other hand, I have a lot of great friends here in Houston now that I would feel sad to leave them. Steve and Nadia are expecting their first baby, I would really hate to miss that. John and Mia are going to get married, and I would like to join them for their special day. Not to mention hanging out with other friends on a regular basis. Also, my field (counseling/psychology) is so under-developed in Macau right now I can guess how much resistance it would be for me to work there.
I am not the kind of immigrant is looking for the stupid American Dream. If I don't have any friends here, I won't even want to stay here for another day. Yet my concept of home has been blurred by the fact that Macau changed so much in these few years, I feel really alienated. Is it still the home I use to know? I surely miss my parents, and the home I used to know. At the same time, America is not my home either.So I feel a bit "homeless". I feel lost and don't really know what home really is now. Like Dylan in the song, there is "no direction home".
I never really talked about this crap with anybody.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Where is global warming when you need it?
Recently, the weather has been quite unstable. Sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's freezing cold. The cost of my electric bill DOUBLED in January (mainly) because I used the heater. So my broke ass decided not to use the heat anymore. I wear a lot more clothes during my sleep these days. But it is still not enough. It's 40-30 degrees right now (in the afternoon) and my last resort to gain warmth is to switch on the oven (because gas is free for me). I'm standing by the oven like a homeless man making a fire under the bridge. Hopefully, I don't have to stick my head inside like Sylvia Plath did.
Bullet With Butterfly Wings
I opened this blog about a month ago because I was not blogging on myspace anymore. Myspace used to be a pretty nice "hang-out-website" but for some reasons I just did not want to go on it anymore. Since then I only use my musical alter ego Pancho Lopez to keep an eye on my friends' blogs and I write on this blog sparingly.
Now that my friend Nadia is back on myspace, that kind of gives me an itch.
At least I'll let more friends to read this blog.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The Smashing Pumpkins' "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" describes my mood of the week.
Now that my friend Nadia is back on myspace, that kind of gives me an itch.
At least I'll let more friends to read this blog.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The Smashing Pumpkins' "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" describes my mood of the week.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Dream on...
Michel Gondry is going to release his new movie "The Science of Sleep" this year. This is a movie that I highly anticipate, because of Gondry's visions and also Gael Garcia Bernal (one of my favorite actors) is in the movie with Charlotte Gainsbourg ( daugter of Jane Birkin and Serge). Hey, I can't possibly ask for more.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Back From Hell... or was it heaven?
After 2 weeks without internet at home (because I didn't pay bills), now I'm back online. I don't feel too irrtiated during those two weeks because I had more nights which I slept early. Internet gives you cancer, smoking doesn't, right?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Vote For Pedro
Hamas won the election in Palestine. Yeah, America, that’s what you get when you have DEMOCRACY. The people demand Hamas, bitch!
So stop fantasizing that democracy will solve all your problems, cowboy. You can bomb the living crap out of Iraq and put Saddam in nude, but you can never control how the people think and feel.
Not without manipulation, at least.
Let’s learn from one political icon and his party which never won the electoral majority but still managed to seize the control of the country. He was also able to suspend many so-called human rights because providing stability and safety to the country was obviously more important. Besides, he managed to convince the nation that his values and his wars were going to lead the country to the right direction. Of course, he had a lot hardcore supporters.
Who am I talking about? Not George W Bush and the righteous Republican party. I’m talking about Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party. Yeah, the Charlie Chaplin looking dude. Not that Brokeback Mountain cowboy.
So stop fantasizing that democracy will solve all your problems, cowboy. You can bomb the living crap out of Iraq and put Saddam in nude, but you can never control how the people think and feel.
Not without manipulation, at least.
Let’s learn from one political icon and his party which never won the electoral majority but still managed to seize the control of the country. He was also able to suspend many so-called human rights because providing stability and safety to the country was obviously more important. Besides, he managed to convince the nation that his values and his wars were going to lead the country to the right direction. Of course, he had a lot hardcore supporters.
Who am I talking about? Not George W Bush and the righteous Republican party. I’m talking about Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party. Yeah, the Charlie Chaplin looking dude. Not that Brokeback Mountain cowboy.
Nothing interesting here...
Work was pretty hectic today. Well, Wednesdays are never easy because I don’t get off from work until 8:30 pm. Sometimes I enjoy it, but tonight was just chaotic. For the most part, I enjoy being a children’s counselor. But when the kids go crazy and out of control, it gives me headaches and reminds me that having kids is a crazy idea (good luck to my friends Nadia & Steve).
All that won’t matter soon. My eventual demise from the shelter is coming in four weeks. Although I was told about the cut for six weeks already, I have yet to start looking for a new job in a serious manner. I am just lazy. I don’t know why. Maybe I should discuss that with my therapist tomorrow. However, I am still working very hard for my current job. My friend, who was also going to be cut, went to India and France five weeks ago. My supervisor got fired two weeks ago before her time was up like mine (and still managed to get paid until then). My mentally challenged co-worker is starting to take a day off every week until her last day. I am the only jackass burying myself into my job day in and day out… while I should focus on my near future. (I should be as motivated as Ed Helms on tonight’s Daily Show segment, which showed his job-hunting efforts.)
On a good note, people are treating me pretty nice. Yeah, that’s pretty standard, but I feel like some of my co-workers are being extra nice to me because I’m leaving soon. Rebecca bought me a breakfast taco today from a place she told me long time ago. That’s very nice of her, and maybe it has nothing to do with my departure. I didn’t get a chance to put that tasty taco in my mouth until 8:45 pm. So that taco (plus Lisa’s donut holes) became my dinner tonight.
Can’t stop listening to Television’s Marquee Moon. Tom Verlaine’s and Richard Llyod’s dueling guitars are blowing my brains off.
All that won’t matter soon. My eventual demise from the shelter is coming in four weeks. Although I was told about the cut for six weeks already, I have yet to start looking for a new job in a serious manner. I am just lazy. I don’t know why. Maybe I should discuss that with my therapist tomorrow. However, I am still working very hard for my current job. My friend, who was also going to be cut, went to India and France five weeks ago. My supervisor got fired two weeks ago before her time was up like mine (and still managed to get paid until then). My mentally challenged co-worker is starting to take a day off every week until her last day. I am the only jackass burying myself into my job day in and day out… while I should focus on my near future. (I should be as motivated as Ed Helms on tonight’s Daily Show segment, which showed his job-hunting efforts.)
On a good note, people are treating me pretty nice. Yeah, that’s pretty standard, but I feel like some of my co-workers are being extra nice to me because I’m leaving soon. Rebecca bought me a breakfast taco today from a place she told me long time ago. That’s very nice of her, and maybe it has nothing to do with my departure. I didn’t get a chance to put that tasty taco in my mouth until 8:45 pm. So that taco (plus Lisa’s donut holes) became my dinner tonight.
Can’t stop listening to Television’s Marquee Moon. Tom Verlaine’s and Richard Llyod’s dueling guitars are blowing my brains off.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Awkward Lunch Chat
I usually avoid taking part in a conversation which I know my opinion is not pleasant to others' ears, especially when I am talking with people that I don't dare to change, nor do I dare to offend them. I know some people block out messages they don't like, no matter how factual the messages really.
Oh yeah, and some of you fuckers who know me thought I dare to say anything. It is just because I feel safe enough to talk to you.
But sometimes there is no way to escape from talking.
Say lunch time today (tuesday). I was heating up my cheap-ass Hot Pocket Chicken Pot Pie in the staff break room, hoping to eat before a meeting. Two of my co-workers were enjoying their lunch when I walked in. As I started to absorb my pitifully meal, the two of them started talking about the theory of evolution. I was thinking, "Sweet Zombie Jesus, this is going awkward, I hope I won't get sucked into this meaningless conversation. I'm sure how it is going to end."
I don't know them very well, but I know Ms. E is a devouted Christian who sent everybody a Christmas card with more than 3 references of God in it. Ms. I is pretty new and I know she was not gonna say anything that would upset Ms. E or anyone. To avoid any chance of participating the conversation, I tried not to listen to them and focus on chewing my pot pie. I heard Ms. E saying something like how ridiculous the theory of evolution is ("You tellin' me that we came from monkeys?" etc). Ms. I, being the office newbie who needs the guidance of Ms. E the vetran, kept nodding and agreeing with her (without saying anything substantial). Then Ms. E said something about her nephew coming back from college and telling the family what he learned about evolution. She said "Just because they taught that at school does not mean that they are true." (Man, no wonder America's education system is so fucked up, you people don't even care about the validity of school materials.) <--- of course i didn't say this out loud.
Then the awkward moment comes. Ms. I, who didn't say a full sentence in their conversation, asked me, "So, what do you think, Francisco? Do you believe in evolution?" I was thinking, "Why the fuck do you dare to ask me? I'm trying to avoid this shit! She must be feeling trapped inside this conversation and trying to turn the spotlight on me." I, who was in no mood for a sure-win debate, did not want to lie about my own opinions... nor did I want to be the one who tell someone that Santa is not real. I was trying to be very diplomatic. I said I think the theory of evolution is valid. Ms. E was a little surprised (because I mentioned I went to Church two weeks ago?) and asked me skeptically, " So you really think we came from monkeys... or apes?" I said I think we share our ancestors with a lot of different animals. I don't even dare to explain the process of natural selection. Why do I care? I will only offend Miss E abd she won't change her mind anyway, no matter how factual my point is. I just wanted to state what I stand for and that's it. I did not want to try changing anyone. Ms. E then said, "Well, bless your heart!"
I really don't know why the hell they got so surprised that I think evolution is a fact.
I don't even want to discuss the ignorance of the mentality of science-is-against-religion now.
I just wanna say: I don't believe in anything. I THINK. I don't BELIEVE. I don't believe in the theory of evolution. I don't believe in Jesus. I don't believe in anything in a concrete manner. I hate to use the word "believe" because it sound so illogical and baseless in this world today. I think and I process. I "BELIEVE" I am more open to change, for belief's sake.
I am glad that Ms. E was nowhere near during one of my blasphemous outburts ("Jesus Fucking Christ!" etc), I'm sure I would have given her a heart attack.
Bob Dylan - "Ballad of a Thin Man" (Highway 61 Revisited)
Oh yeah, and some of you fuckers who know me thought I dare to say anything. It is just because I feel safe enough to talk to you.
But sometimes there is no way to escape from talking.
Say lunch time today (tuesday). I was heating up my cheap-ass Hot Pocket Chicken Pot Pie in the staff break room, hoping to eat before a meeting. Two of my co-workers were enjoying their lunch when I walked in. As I started to absorb my pitifully meal, the two of them started talking about the theory of evolution. I was thinking, "Sweet Zombie Jesus, this is going awkward, I hope I won't get sucked into this meaningless conversation. I'm sure how it is going to end."
I don't know them very well, but I know Ms. E is a devouted Christian who sent everybody a Christmas card with more than 3 references of God in it. Ms. I is pretty new and I know she was not gonna say anything that would upset Ms. E or anyone. To avoid any chance of participating the conversation, I tried not to listen to them and focus on chewing my pot pie. I heard Ms. E saying something like how ridiculous the theory of evolution is ("You tellin' me that we came from monkeys?" etc). Ms. I, being the office newbie who needs the guidance of Ms. E the vetran, kept nodding and agreeing with her (without saying anything substantial). Then Ms. E said something about her nephew coming back from college and telling the family what he learned about evolution. She said "Just because they taught that at school does not mean that they are true." (Man, no wonder America's education system is so fucked up, you people don't even care about the validity of school materials.) <--- of course i didn't say this out loud.
Then the awkward moment comes. Ms. I, who didn't say a full sentence in their conversation, asked me, "So, what do you think, Francisco? Do you believe in evolution?" I was thinking, "Why the fuck do you dare to ask me? I'm trying to avoid this shit! She must be feeling trapped inside this conversation and trying to turn the spotlight on me." I, who was in no mood for a sure-win debate, did not want to lie about my own opinions... nor did I want to be the one who tell someone that Santa is not real. I was trying to be very diplomatic. I said I think the theory of evolution is valid. Ms. E was a little surprised (because I mentioned I went to Church two weeks ago?) and asked me skeptically, " So you really think we came from monkeys... or apes?" I said I think we share our ancestors with a lot of different animals. I don't even dare to explain the process of natural selection. Why do I care? I will only offend Miss E abd she won't change her mind anyway, no matter how factual my point is. I just wanted to state what I stand for and that's it. I did not want to try changing anyone. Ms. E then said, "Well, bless your heart!"
I really don't know why the hell they got so surprised that I think evolution is a fact.
I don't even want to discuss the ignorance of the mentality of science-is-against-religion now.
I just wanna say: I don't believe in anything. I THINK. I don't BELIEVE. I don't believe in the theory of evolution. I don't believe in Jesus. I don't believe in anything in a concrete manner. I hate to use the word "believe" because it sound so illogical and baseless in this world today. I think and I process. I "BELIEVE" I am more open to change, for belief's sake.
I am glad that Ms. E was nowhere near during one of my blasphemous outburts ("Jesus Fucking Christ!" etc), I'm sure I would have given her a heart attack.
Bob Dylan - "Ballad of a Thin Man" (Highway 61 Revisited)
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