Movies & I (part 1)

I have been going to my friends' weekly movie night regularly. I'm a movie junkie. The first experience in a cinema happened when I was about 6 or 7-- I watched Hayao Miyazaki's "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind" -- one of the best animated films which I could not fully understand at that age. I grew up watching animated movies and Hollywood blockbusters (but I have always hated Disney flicks). Until Stanley Kubrick's "Clockwork Orange"-- at that point, at the age of 17, it opened my eyes and the doors of my perception. Since then, I am addicted to movies that worth my time. During my 2 years of boring life in Abilene, watching movies was the best thing I could do in this desert town (and using the first incarnation of Napster). There was a small video store "nearby" the campus. I would spend 15 minutes to walk there and rent movies I looked up from the internet. They did not have the best collection... but I just watched whatever I can, including some Kubrick, some Evil Dead... I also tried to go to the theaters to see some mediocre flicks. I just want to be in the cinema.

Every year I went home (Macau), I would go to China with my mentor/friend Sid for "movie-shopping". China has a lot of illegal pirate DVD vendors. It is a heaven for movie junkie because they have tons of foreign movies and indie cult flicks and the price is like a dollar for a DVD. Some of you very righteous (or just self-righteous) ones may think that this is wrong, but the truth is I can't even find these great movies in legal-DVD-selling shops (some you can't even find in America). 99% of the shit sold in legit shops are very mainstream, they are just too conservative to sell little-known movies. Over the years, I have bought a shitload of movies and I have not watched all of them up to this date.

Then I moved to Austin. Little did I know Austin was a great movie town. Then I noticed this small theater right by campus in the Dobie "Mall". I convinced my then-girlfriend Erica to see Amelie with me. It was great and since then going to movie (and movie-hopping in other theaters) became a weekly routine for us.

I'll continue my story with the next blog later.

Gotta sleep.

Pulp's "Something Changed"--- somehow it made me wanna cry.

hopefully, I'll get my reparation money from the fucking car insurance company this coming week.

Newsflash: Bin Laden Vows Never to Be Captured Alive

Me neither.

"Frontlash"

While I was looking for some music videos on Yahoo!Music, a headline caught my attention on the main page. It says "Federline says he's ready for backlash"Even without reading the article, I think it is bullshit already. Did I just see the word "backlash" in the title? I have to disagree with the writers of Associated Press with their choice of the word "backlash". According to various credible dictionaries, "backlash" means “a sudden violent backward movement or reaction” or “a strong and adverse reaction by a large number of people.” I am sure there is a large number of people would is jealous of the obvious talent and genius of Mr. Spears, but was there EVER a time that he was loved and praised by millions? The answer is definitely “No.” If there was NEVER a positive and forward movement for Mr. Spears career (or the lack of it), how can it constitute a BACKlash? The direction of the public’s sentiment has never changed, it has always been straightforward. There has been always a “frontlash” for Mr.Spears.

How dare you, Associated Press! Tampering with your stupid facts about K-Fed after snubbing Stephen Colbert with "Truthiness"

like a rolling stone

Tonight, I finally told my parents about the instability of my job situation. I hesitated to tell them a couple months ago because there were too many questions I could not answer myself. Well, there are still a lot of questions left to answer, but there are definitely less options.

I'll still have a "stable" job until May at least. But I need to find a job soon, even though there is a lack of motivation in my part. I felt quite overwhelmed sometimes and that is why I don't want to care about anything. I am not a U.S. citizen. So if I want to stay one year after my graduation, I would need to find an employer who would help me with apply for a working visa. I don't really have much expectation from my current employer (hey, they can't even keep me for sure, what can I expect from them). My family missed me being away from them and my mother would really be happy to see me back. Plus, her mother (my grandma) is terminally ill.

On the other hand, I have a lot of great friends here in Houston now that I would feel sad to leave them. Steve and Nadia are expecting their first baby, I would really hate to miss that. John and Mia are going to get married, and I would like to join them for their special day. Not to mention hanging out with other friends on a regular basis. Also, my field (counseling/psychology) is so under-developed in Macau right now I can guess how much resistance it would be for me to work there.

I am not the kind of immigrant is looking for the stupid American Dream. If I don't have any friends here, I won't even want to stay here for another day. Yet my concept of home has been blurred by the fact that Macau changed so much in these few years, I feel really alienated. Is it still the home I use to know? I surely miss my parents, and the home I used to know. At the same time, America is not my home either.So I feel a bit "homeless". I feel lost and don't really know what home really is now. Like Dylan in the song, there is "no direction home".

I never really talked about this crap with anybody.

Where is global warming when you need it?

Recently, the weather has been quite unstable. Sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's freezing cold. The cost of my electric bill DOUBLED in January (mainly) because I used the heater. So my broke ass decided not to use the heat anymore. I wear a lot more clothes during my sleep these days. But it is still not enough. It's 40-30 degrees right now (in the afternoon) and my last resort to gain warmth is to switch on the oven (because gas is free for me). I'm standing by the oven like a homeless man making a fire under the bridge. Hopefully, I don't have to stick my head inside like Sylvia Plath did.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

I opened this blog about a month ago because I was not blogging on myspace anymore. Myspace used to be a pretty nice "hang-out-website" but for some reasons I just did not want to go on it anymore. Since then I only use my musical alter ego Pancho Lopez to keep an eye on my friends' blogs and I write on this blog sparingly.

Now that my friend Nadia is back on myspace, that kind of gives me an itch.

At least I'll let more friends to read this blog.

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The Smashing Pumpkins' "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" describes my mood of the week.

terrible twist of fate

Drinking too much + Shitty Mood = Something I don't wanna happen again

Dream on...

Michel Gondry is going to release his new movie "The Science of Sleep" this year. This is a movie that I highly anticipate, because of Gondry's visions and also Gael Garcia Bernal (one of my favorite actors) is in the movie with Charlotte Gainsbourg ( daugter of Jane Birkin and Serge). Hey, I can't possibly ask for more.

Back From Hell... or was it heaven?

After 2 weeks without internet at home (because I didn't pay bills), now I'm back online. I don't feel too irrtiated during those two weeks because I had more nights which I slept early. Internet gives you cancer, smoking doesn't, right?