Awkward Lunch Chat

I usually avoid taking part in a conversation which I know my opinion is not pleasant to others' ears, especially when I am talking with people that I don't dare to change, nor do I dare to offend them. I know some people block out messages they don't like, no matter how factual the messages really.

Oh yeah, and some of you fuckers who know me thought I dare to say anything. It is just because I feel safe enough to talk to you.

But sometimes there is no way to escape from talking.

Say lunch time today (tuesday). I was heating up my cheap-ass Hot Pocket Chicken Pot Pie in the staff break room, hoping to eat before a meeting. Two of my co-workers were enjoying their lunch when I walked in. As I started to absorb my pitifully meal, the two of them started talking about the theory of evolution. I was thinking, "Sweet Zombie Jesus, this is going awkward, I hope I won't get sucked into this meaningless conversation. I'm sure how it is going to end."

I don't know them very well, but I know Ms. E is a devouted Christian who sent everybody a Christmas card with more than 3 references of God in it. Ms. I is pretty new and I know she was not gonna say anything that would upset Ms. E or anyone. To avoid any chance of participating the conversation, I tried not to listen to them and focus on chewing my pot pie. I heard Ms. E saying something like how ridiculous the theory of evolution is ("You tellin' me that we came from monkeys?" etc). Ms. I, being the office newbie who needs the guidance of Ms. E the vetran, kept nodding and agreeing with her (without saying anything substantial). Then Ms. E said something about her nephew coming back from college and telling the family what he learned about evolution. She said "Just because they taught that at school does not mean that they are true." (Man, no wonder America's education system is so fucked up, you people don't even care about the validity of school materials.) <--- of course i didn't say this out loud.

Then the awkward moment comes. Ms. I, who didn't say a full sentence in their conversation, asked me, "So, what do you think, Francisco? Do you believe in evolution?" I was thinking, "Why the fuck do you dare to ask me? I'm trying to avoid this shit! She must be feeling trapped inside this conversation and trying to turn the spotlight on me." I, who was in no mood for a sure-win debate, did not want to lie about my own opinions... nor did I want to be the one who tell someone that Santa is not real. I was trying to be very diplomatic. I said I think the theory of evolution is valid. Ms. E was a little surprised (because I mentioned I went to Church two weeks ago?) and asked me skeptically, " So you really think we came from monkeys... or apes?" I said I think we share our ancestors with a lot of different animals. I don't even dare to explain the process of natural selection. Why do I care? I will only offend Miss E abd she won't change her mind anyway, no matter how factual my point is. I just wanted to state what I stand for and that's it. I did not want to try changing anyone. Ms. E then said, "Well, bless your heart!"

I really don't know why the hell they got so surprised that I think evolution is a fact.

I don't even want to discuss the ignorance of the mentality of science-is-against-religion now.

I just wanna say: I don't believe in anything. I THINK. I don't BELIEVE. I don't believe in the theory of evolution. I don't believe in Jesus. I don't believe in anything in a concrete manner. I hate to use the word "believe" because it sound so illogical and baseless in this world today. I think and I process. I "BELIEVE" I am more open to change, for belief's sake.

I am glad that Ms. E was nowhere near during one of my blasphemous outburts ("Jesus Fucking Christ!" etc), I'm sure I would have given her a heart attack.



Bob Dylan - "Ballad of a Thin Man" (Highway 61 Revisited)